#parentification of children ig

[roobylavender]

do you think bruce is abusive? i don't mean in the physical way they've been writing his as recently but emotionally.

it's very clear that he does love his children but some abusers do genuinely love the people they hurt and just think they are in the right (thinking of my own dad who somehow couldn't understand why we didn't want to talk to him because he always took care of us but treated our mother. badly. and in front of us when we were little kids.)

and i'm not sure whether i count bruce in that because while it doesn't look like what i'm familiar with i thought i'd ask because only recently i've actually come across people who see him as abusive but do actually see the character as he is and love it and i was wondering what you thought

sorry if i'm dumping too much on you or it isn't something you want to answer, feel free to delete/ignore, i just think the answer is more interesting from people who genuinely love and understand bruce as a character as you seem to and i've only seen it from two other people so i wondered what you thought

i don't mind answering! this is one of those asks where i wish i tagged my stuff bc i've talked about it before but my outbox tag is so populated that it takes way too long to search through lol (and unfortunately as we all know tumblr's in-blog search function is broken beyond repair). but tldr i would say bruce as he's existed for the past thirty years or so is abusive. my divergence in opinion is simply that i don't think he ever should have been made so. his more modern characterization as someone reactive and prone to lashing out at others, particularly his children, has never made sense to me and i don't think it's heavily supported by pre-crisis canon. the extent of bruce's failings as a parent should reflect his inability to communicate and his growing tendency to be a shut-in. which i know some people take to be comparable to neglect but ig i don't think it should ever go that far.. like when i say inability to communicate i don't mean him failing to take care of his kids or giving them their due attention when he's raising them but moreso falling into a pit of despair and guilt once they've reached adulthood bc he feels like he's signed their death note by enabling their lives as vigilantes. i do think parentification can potentially come into it but ideally i would want it to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later if that makes sense. like we should've been over bruce's depressive "i'm a terrible parent and everyone i love dies so i should just do everything on my own and slowly k*ll myself in the process" episode by the early 00s at latest. and it should've been acknowledged that a large part of what drove him into that depressive episode was jason's death, so realistically being given the time and space to process jason's death and its implications properly would have allowed for bruce to seek closure and move forward and be less.. whatever he is now. to me the successive whammies of identity crisis and war games and under the hood deliberately thwarted that

[eroticwound]

i’m reading adult children of emotionally immature parents, and it’s so weird! like some of the stuff resonates, but most of it feels like a miss.

the thing is my parents aren’t emotionally immature as described in this book. they���re both alcoholics (my dad is a functional alcoholic), and my mom is mentally ill in some way i am not privy to the exact diagnosis of. they weren’t withholding of closeness, they were too close.

it’s the boundary dissolution of parentification versus the emotional isolation and disregard (neglect ig) of immature parents. i mean, there’s def overlap! parents who parentify their kids still disregard their kids’ emotional well-being, but it’s more because they’re relying on them for support… i do think instrumental parentification occurs with emotionally immature parents, but emotional parentification seems to run contrary to the whole shtick of emotionally immature parents…

anyway, i’ve been trying to find anything that discusses the differences and overlap between the two. i’m assuming it has to do with whether a parent had substance abuse or mental health issues…

if anyone has a lead about that hmu!

[yourfavoritequeerfangirl]

okay wait i don’t know if tumblr has any labrant family discourse idk but this is where i come to rant you guys

i see comments on ig and tiktok about how it’s no big deal that they have five kids. and i agree. it’s normal to have five kids, especially given the whole trad wife content farm that’s trending rn but i think what hardcore labrant stans and defenders don’t get is that nobody cares about how many kids they have, they care about the parentification of everleigh and the way she’s cast off

like very plainly the situation reads like she’s the consummate older daughter. but her mom and cole treat her like a live in nanny for their children. to me it seems like a “you’re from my pre influencer life and these are the children i have with my husband so you have to know ur role and take care of them” motif. like cinderella almost in a way except instead of scrubbing floors she’s changing diapers at her little age

but anyways i’ll step off my soapbox and continue to giggle at the “is their tv broken” comments

[giselberts]

i've been watching a lot of barbie movies lately nd now im obsessed with making little princess ocs... i have like?? two ideas in mind?

one idea i like a lot is the idea of lost princesses (in a v loose term), like either one that has run away bc she doesn't like her life or one that has been kidnapped as a baby/kid, which can lead to v interesting stories (someone stepping up to fill her role of princess, or rejecting the title bc the reveal fucked up her life or bc the monarchy is evil and that's why everything sucks)

the other idea i like a lot is just a remix of 12 dancing princesses but more in-depth ig?? i only have one sibling and it's a bit hard to find who i am in regards to them and finding my own place, so exploring that phenomenon with so many siblings + sibling dynamics (like parentification of older siblings, middle children being ignored, the youngest being absolute angels who can do no wrong and either struggling to keep that image up or using that to their advantage to do stupid shit) it can quickly really interesting!!

anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk i may ramble abt these one day if i'm still obsessed in the future...